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" The whole town knows they're dykes, and he told me that if anyone calls (meaning: The Press), just tell them I didn't know anything. I scan down the list and see that Ricky Martin is a Sunday pickup. 'Renz says he's always got a bunch of hotties with him who will screw anyone if they don't score with Ricky. I kind of look forward to that one. There are a bunch of others, mostly starlets and producers. My friend says they all tip well, so I'm not complaining. Then the phone rings. It's the prick, Lorenzo's boss. "Where the fuck is he?" "I don't keep track of him, but I will give him any messages. He checks in pretty regularly." He pauses. "Tell him to get his spaghetti ass off that bitch he's fucking and get to Brentwood! Here's the address. He needs to haul ass now!" I take down the address. I'm still new to this whole LA scene, so I grab my Palm Pilot that I've loaded all the area maps into. I pull it out and look up the street. I get dressed quickly into my makeshift uniform. It's a little tight in the chest. Lorenzo is pretty fit, and so am I, but my chest is about an inch bigger. I skip the tie and put on the hat. It's official, I look like a fucking bus driver. I'm in Brentwood about half an hour later. LA traffic is the worst. I used to live in DC, if I ever go back, I will never complain about it again.
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